I Miss It

I miss it. I miss everything. I miss the good times. 

I miss spending time with my friends during the summer and knowing none of us had a care in the world. 

I miss meeting new people and bonding over the things we love and have in common. I miss seeing them at the most randomist times and laughing over it. 

I miss going to concerts and forgetting about my worries or what will people think of me.

I miss the day outs and nights in together. 

I miss it all and I haven't been  happy since.

Summer was different for me. I was more myself than I had ever been. 

I might love the Autumn and winter months but there's always the downside to it. 

I love the oversized jumpers and the hot chocolate and wearing layers of clothes at one time. 

But one thing I don't love is school. I don't fit in and I never will. I'm friends with people I don't think I can trust anymore. 

The awkward silence in between conversations shouldn't be there, it wasn't there months ago and it shouldn't now. 

I feel helpless and unguided.

I welcome the weekend with open arms and I dread the weekdays with all of my might.

I can slowly feel myself slipping into something and I fear I'll never slip out of it.

Will anyone ever notice? That I haven't been my true self since the last day of summer or maybe they've never payed enough attention to notice the difference in the first place.

I don't know when I'll feel complete again.

 I need freedom.

-A