Graduation

Graduation: 

A word that symbolises an end of an era and a new beginning 

Recently as in this week, I walked into school on Monday knowing the next day I walked through the school doors it would never be the same.

On Monday I had all my last classes. I said thanks to many teachers.

I had my last lunch with my classmates and I heard the bell ring for the last time at half 3 

Many of us are eager to graduate, to start our lives but what we hadn't noticed was that our lives had already started, the day we were born. 

Secondary school was a means to an end.

It gave me 6 years of happiness, sadness and joy. 

We all say we won't miss it but ours tears shed at our graduation ceremony show otherwise. 

I watched my head girl give her speech and listened to her reminisce on our many adventures as a class. 

I'm mainly writing this as I'm struggling to believe the last 6 years of routine, people and memories are all a thing of the past now. 

I've always been scared of change and as you can imagine this is quite a big change.

I'll leave you all with a quote that was said at my graduation 

"You're braver than you believe and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" - Winnie The Pooh 

-A

Friendship

I feel helpless. 

It's like I know what the upcoming months holds for me and it doesn't benefit me but I can't stop it from happening. 

I can't force friendship. But I can't lose you either. You've been there for me through so much and I don't know if I can stand alone without you. Your my rock. I've lost too many people and I can't bare to lose you as well. 

You got me through so much. 

Have I done something wrong? Am I not good enough for you anymore? Will you give me the "it's not you, it's me" speech? Or will it start by you just ignoring me? Will I ever get an explanation? Or will you get up and leave just like the others.

I'm not in a good place right now to be losing you. It's never a good time to lose you.  

But it seems inevitable with the ways things are going. But could this just be a phase? 

- Andi 

Goodbye 2016

I never really got to say goodbye to 2016 and I feel like its something I really need to do right now. 

2016 had it's moments like any year would. but if I'm completely honest it took a lot out of me. I  want 2017 to be different but with only 6 days in I feel like I've gotten nowhere.

2017 is a big year for me school wise. I have my leaving cert and where I go from there depends on the results I get in August. I feel like I can't start living until then but I turn 18 in may and I cant help but think my life ends then and I'm scared. I look back on my life and it's like I've done nothing significant, nothing that's stands out among everyone else and it frightens me immensely. 

my heads just a little messed up right now 

I just want to leave it all behind in 2016 and start new this year. 

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist" - Oscar Wilde