Am I Okay?

I guess for once I'd like for someone to look me in the eyes and ask me if I'm okay. 

I tell myself that I am, I'm okay but I know I'm lying to myself. 

I want my mom to take one look at me and know I'm not okay and to comfort me. 

But it never happens, it's just me, my pillow and my tears, just like always. 

I want my friends to help me but I'm too stubborn to ask. 

I want someone to look at me and say 'it'll be okay' but I'll always question will it? 

It's not certain I'll ever feel like this again but there a possiblily I will.

I hide everything behind a smile that I rip off as soon as I'm alone. 

My pillow stores my tears and those sad feelings. 

I wake up everyday and wonder will today be the day I've had enough?

 Is this the day I call it quits?

 -A