time to say goodbye

It was your birthday on the 23rd of this month and while I tried to ignore the date staring back at me on my phone screen it was impossible. I had family members come up and say it to me, I saw a few Facebook friends birthday wishes to you pop up on my newsfeed 

People still ask me about u, how your doing, what your up to and Id just wish they'd stop, we haven't talk in over a year but it feels much longer than that 

A memory post from Facebook came up on ur birthday, reminding me that 2 years ago I had posted on your wall and I stood still for a couple of minutes staring at the collage of photos that date back to 2011,it sits there with a big paragraph about how much I loved you and that you were the best friend I ever had.

Those photos reminded me that I had spent 5 years of my adolescent life by your side, we told each other everything and now we barely look each other in the eyes. It's funny how a small yet simple argument can throw away 5 years of friendship that we thought would last a lifetime 

Each photo I looked at held a story at automatically played in my head. They were such good times. I look at them now but they're just a story that has since ended. 

You made moving on look so easy, but you were always good at that; hiding your emotions where I was the exact opposite. 

I don't think our spilt has ever registered with me but at the same time it feels like we were never friends to begin with. My memories with you seemed like they were a lifetime ago. 

Did I ever really matter to you ? 

I'm much happier now, I have friends who are like sisters to me, I wouldn't and couldn't let them go as easy as you seemed to slip away  

I've moved on, you no longer impact my life like you once did but that's okay cause our friendship ending might have been the best thing to ever happen to me, even if I didn't realise it at the time. 

Bye R 👋🏻